How many of us?

[Bligityblah]

In our litigious society it's becoming more and more common place for people to have lawyers on retainer. One of the most fun things you can ever say to a person is: "If you need anything else, please direct all questions to my attorney." I've had the pleasure of doing that more than once so I recommend you try it. Does anyone else here actually have an attorney on retainer? Do you see a need for it? Why or why not?


I've got four

[eamon angelface]

I don't. Not on retainer. Part of my job involves lot's of legal paperwork though and because of the type of job another gear in the system keeps an entire law firm on retainer. In the event something legal comes up they pounce. Usually I only see them when signing something like an NDA but every now and then I get a call from them to tell me something. It makes me feel like the product and they're protecting their investment.

I don't like dealing with them. They tend to get extremely agitated and almost salivate when they think they can really fuck someone. When that happens it's this weird mixture of excitement and nerves.

Though sometimes I breathe a sigh of relief when they tell me how much money they saved/made me or who they just kicked in the nuts for potentially causing me any discomfort.

I wouldn't like having 4 "on retainer". That means they're waiting for you to make them money. One lawyer I deal with fairly regularly because he's funny actually has a vanity plate that spells out 'one tough Jew'.

[AngelBaby]

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"I'm Tommy," replied the second.

"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do?" asked Billy.

Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Tommy.

[smash]

The older I get the more profound the Shakespeare statement "First thing we do, is kill all the lawyers" seems.
I have almost no regular dealings with them, but it's impossible to escape their impact on our sue-happy culture. Yes, some things are necessary and good to be sued over, most aren't. We've become a culture that feels entitled to financial recompense for any and all human errors. And that's just not right.

Incidentally, in my experience as a computer tech/repair guy, I've found two things to be FACT.

1. Lawyers can and will fuck you on paying if they can get away with it. If they can't, they will always take as much time as possible to pay. Oh, and they have the shittiest computers too (I assume it's from a lack of spending on quality equipment). If the shitstains would only realize that the crappier computers equal more support time...

2. The phrase power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. The most horrific sexual/anatomic function stories have all come from lawyers. FROM A Relatively harmless (but incredibly weird) lawyer who had to receive a cease and desist letter from the landlord for urinating in his office plants TO A CEO of a company with a secret vivid gay sex life detailed to the Nth degree in his email.

[Justheartless]

I have a lawyer and I've needed her on a couple occations. She's not just my lawyer though, she's a family friend so I can really talk to her about anything.
It's nice to be able to have someone to talk to about legal rights and right/wrong. Also, when you have a kid it's good to have a will, and therefore, a lawyer.