Useless super powers

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Seriously
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Useless super powers

Post by Seriously » 26 Apr 2007 04:49

So I was thinking about X-men, and I wondered


If Marvel's Earth has the technology to make all those wonderful toys like Sentinels and the various SHIELD things, as well as having people with magical powers, why the fuck can't anyone fix Charles Xavier's spine?

Haven't they, like, brought people back from the dead? I'm sure they have, every comic series has at some point.


That's not what this is about.

So, when people are offered their choice of super power, they always pick flight or invisibility or omnipotence or living forever.

Been done.


How about this? If you could have any useless, stupid power, what would you have?

Constraints: Must have very little practical application in real life, and it can't help you win fights or some such.


I pick the power to control the migration pattern of moths.
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Proximo93
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Post by Proximo93 » 26 Apr 2007 05:51

Why can't Xavier just sort of lift himself up with his fabulous mental powers? Maybe it's a psychological thing.

Anyway, I'd have the power to stop all the bees dying. Save the bees, people.
what has science done?

efilflah
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Post by efilflah » 26 Apr 2007 08:26

Whenever asked what I'd have as a super power in the surprisingly common super powers conversations I have with people, I say Super Memory. I thnk that'd be handy as hell, being able to recall things rainman database style....but since you're asking for useless powers, I'd go with the opposite.

The inability to retain information for more than a few seconds at a time, goldfish memento style. If you ever got into a fight, 2/3 seconds in you'd forget you were even doing it and you'd get completely battered.

As for Xavier, I always thought that having been psychic for years and years, he'd just got really damned lazy.

Why get out of your mobile lay-z-boy when you can float the TV remote straight to you? Or jedi mind trick some hot piece of ass to work you from the seated position?

His legs probably atrophied from lack of use......can't blame him like.

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Post by Seriously » 26 Apr 2007 08:31

I have to interject at this point, please don't be mad.

Xavier can only read and adjust minds, and while if he really, really wanted to he could probably make everyone committ suicide he can't move physical objects at all.

Also, he's not lazy, he's paraplegic. His spine = snapped. Falling things, I think.
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efilflah
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Post by efilflah » 26 Apr 2007 09:00

That's a good point.

As you can probably tell.....I'm not much of an X-Men fan.

I saw the cartoon a bit when I was younger, and getting back on topic, I always used to think that Jubilee girl had the most pointless power ever.

She like....used to emit...colours, or something. Or sparks or fireworks or something that put a smile on her face in the opening titles.....but that always seemed like such a pointless power for the one character who was supposed to appeal to the key demographic of the show.

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exelis
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Post by exelis » 27 Apr 2007 09:01

I thought the x-men cartoon demographic was for any preteen that would watch it on a saturday morning. Not like some of the newer anime and such.

So, if I wanted the power to create discreet areas in which it rained, if I promised not to run to the aid of drought-ridden farmers, would that qualify? I'm just a rainy day person.

efilflah
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Post by efilflah » 27 Apr 2007 09:41

Well, my point is that Jubilee was supposed to be like the newbie of the group, and someone the viewer (who was probably young) could relate to as they discovered more about the story through the situations she found herself in every episode.

They made her young and attractive so that kids found it easier to relate....but I think they shot themselves in the foot because if you're gonna have the viewer relate to a character and have that character be representitive of the viewer in the show, then you'd best give them some better powers than fancy light beams that did fuk all.

eamon angelface
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Post by eamon angelface » 27 Apr 2007 10:07

Juggernaut, Xavier's brother, broke his back.

It's easier to make a big robot than to figure out to regrow nerve endings. I would expect. My robot doesn't work.

My useless super power would be to run really slow like slow motion at will. My hair and clothes would blow in the wind in slow motion.

On a side note I joke with people that I do have a super power. Old people tend to just fall down around me. It happens quite regularly. Well at least once a month but if you think about it that's a lot of old people.
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Post by AngelBaby » 27 Apr 2007 10:18

Okay...someone better quit dissin' one of the only azn girl X-Men in the team's history.

Please read up on her before dismissing her entirely. Of course, none of the more impressive aspects of her power may have been illustrated in the TV show, so you may have a point.

My power would be to make politicians crap their pants whenever they tell a lie; I bet things in Washington would improve quick, fast, and in a hurry.

That, or all those douchebags would just start wearing Depends.
<_<

efilflah
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Post by efilflah » 27 Apr 2007 17:38

The strength of the energy could range from a multitude of colorful sparkles capable of temporarily blinding a person to a powerful detonation capable of smashing objects and destroying property, or a precision burst inside a human's brain simulating the effects of a massive stroke
Now that's what I'm, talkin' 'bout. I wish they'd done more of that in the cartoon, then I might've actually watched it more.

gulliver
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Post by gulliver » 27 Apr 2007 19:41

My super power would be the ability to lick my elbow.

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Post by smash » 27 Apr 2007 20:29

My superpower would be the ability to fall asleep at will and sleep for exactly a determined amount of time. That way I could weather crisis by just taking a nap. Or if I am bored.

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Post by gulliver » 27 Apr 2007 21:59

I thought old people could fall asleep at will anyway? :?

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Post by AngelBaby » 28 Apr 2007 00:34

^^^
ZING!

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Post by JustSumDude » 28 Apr 2007 11:08

I would have the power to understand everything that Seriously says on the internets.



Zing?

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